There are a lot of Londoners who are down on the Olympics, some are irked by how much it is costing, some by the disruption it will cause to the city, others just hate sport. I’m in none of those camps…sort of. I’m hoping that it will be a spectacular show, that we win tons of medals…I just wish I could fucking go is all. It’s pretty torturous to know that the biggest event of the year is happening just down the road and I’m not invited. I tried to get tickets but alas to no avail. I’d prefer it was happening on the other side of the planet to having it so tantalisingly close yet unreachable. I want to have a wander around the park and soak up the atmosphere, to tell my great grandchildren I was there but I’m not sure it will happen.

I don’t want to watch the games from a giant screen in a nearby car park as I suspect most people will have to. I may as well stay at home and watch it on TV because at least there I can sit happily in my pants without anyone shouting at me.  Official advice seems to be to avoid the area, more advice suggests that during the games it might even be better if Londoners avoid the centre of the city at all. Now this headline seems to be asking that people be considerate not to die during the games. How are people supposed to do that? I hope some people die just to be awkward.