It’s become increasingly popular for building sites to surround themselves with boards featuring photographs of the local area in the past or of residents spouting soundbites about their neighbourhood and how wonderful it is. Sometimes though that can backfire as evidenced by the above photograph. Dirty, dirty lady.
Spotted by Ian Marriott-Smith
Here is a stunning vision of the future on display at Clapham Junction. I think we can all agree this is fairly breathtaking. There’s a glass roof, a couple of big grey things and…not much else. Certainly no seats, as one passer by has decided to point out.
I’m a fan of these mock ups and especially the people they photoshop in. Next time you pass one of these outside a building site have a closer look at the people photoshopped into the architects vision, you might find something unusual. I was at an airport in Morrocco once and was looking at one of these for a new terminal they were building. A few of the figures looked familiar, very familiar. On closer inspection I saw that the grey haired man looking around the duty free shop was Al Pacino. Will Smith and family were sailing through passport control. Bruce Springsteen was waiting for a cab outside whilst Tom Hanks (as Forrest Gump) sat on a nearby bench. Whoever had composited the picture had taken paparazzi photos of Hollywood stars and peppered them all over the airport, perhaps to add a touch of glamour. It was excellent.
I haven’t read “50 Shades of Grey” or any of the countless carbon copies which have flooded the market since. I was initially curious, not curious enough to buy a copy but maybe enough to leaf through someone else’s if there was one lying around. As a connoisseur of the mundane and the shit part of me felt it was my duty but after finding out that my Mum owns a copy I just can’t bring myself to.
Spotted by Richard Meager
I’ve seen subtle variations of this chef statue all over the world. Who decided that having an inebriated, Quasimodo-esque, grimacing totem like this outside a restaurant would be a good way to entice customers in remains a mystery. But obviously enough people do because somewhere in the world there is a factory that is churning these things out. It’s probably the same factory that produces those models of the grinning butcher with the massive forearms, the smiling bespectacled waiter holding out a menu and that freakish cone of chips eating chips out of it’s own head. You know the ones. Imagine working there. Imagine being the person that designed them.
Those are the kind of thoughts that keep me awake at night. I should probably get a life.
Spotted by Cameron MacDowall
Woo hoo! It’s Christmas! The time when workers all over the city try to briefly alleviate the day to day drudgery of their desk jobs with some well placed, shiny but dangerously flammable decorations. Sounds like good, innocent fun right? Something that inspire a little festive cheer?
Take a look at this shit show.
Can your office top these? If so send me a photo at [email protected] or @shitlondon on Twitter.
The sorriest excuse for a xmas tree I think I’ve ever seen. Hanging baubles on it only draws attention to its diminutive stature.
Photo by @emmogremmo