Opportunity Knocks, Tower Bridge Road
Estate agents, you’ve got to love them. Well actually you don’t. I don’t, you probably don’t….unless you’re married to one or something. If so, I’m honestly sorry to hear that. When they’re not rechristening areas of the city to suit their purposes, or wearing shit suits, or having bad haircuts or generally acting like they’re in the running for a “Mr Disingenuous” of the year award, then they’re coming up with fantastic ideas like turning an old public toilet into a “restaurant opportunity”.
Spotted by Rachel James
Dora the Ex-Explorer, Elephant and Castle
This is about as an effective an image to use in a road safety campaign for young children as you could wish for. It’s got everything going for it, a familiar character paired with a simple, shocking visual message that’s sure to be left ingrained on children’s minds for years to come. Some may say that this is perhaps a little too much to show young kids…I disagree.
Some of the public safety films I watched when I was a kid have stuck with me even to this day and have no doubt kept me alive. For example I have never, ever attempted to retrieve a lost football from a large electrical substation after seeing the advert which showed one kid doing just that before disappearing in a blinding flash with a scream before the camera settled on his smouldering anorak lying on the ground. Nor have I ever really been able to fully enjoy walking barefoot on a beach without my damned brain recalling the horrible advert that featured in the foreground a jagged broken bottle protruding from the sand as a barefoot, innocent young twerp ran ever nearer to it. It was painful to watch, we the audience knew exactly what was going to happen but were powerless to prevent it. “Watch out for the broken bottle!” we’d yell, knowing that it was already too late to save him. It still haunts me to this day. How many broken bottle injuries on the beach were there to justify the advert? Was it worth psychologically scarring countless children out of ever enjoying the beach again? It all seemed to be a little gruesome for what was essentially an anti litter advert, still I’ve never stood on a broken bottle at the beach and for that I suppose I must be thankful.
You can see the full terrifying ad HERE .
Spotted by Sam Thompson
Bad Choice Of Words, Archway
To end up in the “Dog Poo Squad” you must’ve had to have been very, very bad in a former life. The word “squad” I suppose is intended to sound dynamic but all of it’s potency is robbed by the two preceding words “Dog Poo”. Those two words are just too base, too mundane, too clunkingly depressing. To top of the ignominy of working in the squad your results ( I don’t want to think about what they were ) end up being “slammed” ( careful! ) by the local council or residents. What a thankless task this squad has. I actually feel sorry for them now.
Spotted by Dean Coughlan
Shit Londoner Rob Kidd sent in these charming shots of some graffiti carried out by a mystery person who’d like to smell ex-Countdown number cruncher/ irresponsible pusher of dodgy financial products, Carol Vorderman’s arse. Do you know who this mystery person may be?
“I keep seeing this same graffiti in the corner of SE1 in which I live and work. The top two are on buildings a few hundred yards apart. Perhaps more worryingly, the bottom one shows the same sentence having been written twice in close proximity – this time on the corner of my block. I can’t help but wonder if Ms Vorderman herself might be writing it in a sinister attempt to restore her previous celebrity status..? If its not her, maybe we don’t have to look too far for suspects:http://carolsbum.blogspot.co.uk/
I would appreciate the views of your readers.
Security Joke, Isle of Dogs
What does this mean exactly? Everyone already knows that Anthrax is hilarious, hilarious stuff ( in fact I swear you used to be able to buy it in joke shops when I was a kid) but what about the British sense of humour bit? Does that mean they were joking about the Anthrax or does that mean they’ve treated the anti climbing device with some mysterious compound that will leave anyone who has come into contact with it perpetually chuckling to themselves about that moment Del Boy fell through the bar in Only Fools, or the “Don’t tell him your name, Pike!” line from Dad’s Army or even Peter Kay miming to an old song on a treadmill?
Also, where the hell do you buy a sign like this? Don’t tell me they got it especially made. If so, they’re not the kind of people I want to entrust with securing my property.
Not that I have any.
Spotted by Alan Caughey