Critic, Central Line
Shit Londoner Gordon C sent this photo in saying “I spotted this on the Central Line the other day – whoever chose to make the amendments to this ad obviously aren’t fans of the standard, but I found the second point unexpectedly deep and existential. I was left pondering “life is elsewhere..” during rush hour, and all that came to mind was a great picture opportunity for Shit London.”
Good Point, Borough Market
Shit Londoner Kasia Trilling contacted me with this piece of earth shattering toilet graffiti discovered inside the ladies at The Market Porter pub, Borough Market. This is the kind of thoughtful/foody graffiti that you’d expect in their toilets…and they do raise a good point.
The Kids Aren’t Alright, London Bridge
Whitney Houston once sang …
“I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children’s laughter remind us how we used to be”
…which is touching enough if you’re a sentimental fart too old to remember the capacity for evil that all children possess. Don’t try to tell me that kids don’t know what they’re doing when week after week on You’ve Been Framed you can witness at least 4 or 5 clips of children whacking adult males in the nether regions with fists, oversized toy golf clubs or cricket bats. I’m speaking from experience here, having been viciously rabbit punched in my left testicle by an 8 year old a couple of years ago. I still break out in a cold sweat thinking about the pain and, now and again, worry about my subsequent fertility. People have said that it was my own fault, that perhaps I shouldn’t have been waving my penis around in the kids face like that. They may have a point.
Spotted by Abby Waldman
Condom Machine, Bermondsey
This might hold the dubious honour of being the most well known piece of toilet graffiti in London…to me at least. So many people have sent me this picture from a variety of different angles over the past year that now it feels like an old familiar friend. It features in the Shit London book but up until now I’ve haven’t posted it on the blog assuming that it would be old hat. Then I forget that not everyone has my unhealthy fascination with this universe of shit that I curate. Some people actually have grown-up, well rounded lives that contribute meaningful something to society.
Spotted by Chris Stay
Special Service, Newington Causeway
Time was that people used to have to go to select traditional places to get a hand job – “massage” parlours, certain disreputable hand model agencies or even on Hampstead Heath. Times have changed now to the extent that you can get conveniently pleasured whilst getting your car valeted.