Graffiti

Rudebox, Holland Park

Posted on by Patrick in Graffiti, Shit London Photo, West | Leave a comment

Rude, Holland Park

Da fuck am I looking at?!

Well, how about a big lump of red iron that is going to end up obsolete a lot sooner if it carries on with that kind of attitude?

 

Spotted by Steve Reed

Reasonable Request, Dulwich

Posted on by Patrick in Bleak, Graffiti, Shit London Photo, South, Toilets | 1 Comment

Reasonable Request, Dulwich

Writing this blog I have seen more “Do not urinate/defecate” signs than is probably healthy for anyone to see in their lifetime but I’m still amazed by the need for them. I don’t know, maybe my parents did a good job of raising me because my default setting is such not to urinate or defecate in almost all of the places that I go. It’s just doesn’t enter my mind. It was made clear to me a very long time ago that there are preordained places where this kind of activity is acceptable and that attempting to do them anywhere else will lead to horror, shouting, mops and shunning. Nobody likes being shunning or being shunned…especially for an indiscretion like this. Also I’ve never quite understood the desire to use a lift as toilet, there’s just too much uncertainty involved. Using a lift as a toilet surely you’re exposing yourself to the risk of being discovered at every floor? How can a person function under that kind of pressure? I sometimes have trouble if someone stands too near to me at the urinal. Maybe that’s it, maybe people that use lifts as toilets thrive off the risk, the adrenalin buzz that this risk of discovery gives them. It’s like an extreme sport that requires no equipment or physical prowess… parkour for poopers if you will.

Spotted by Tim Bird

Politics, Clapton

Posted on by Patrick in East, Graffiti, Local Government, Shit London Photo | 3 Comments

Politics, Clapton

Politics is a dirty, dirty business full of infighting, back stabbing and shadowy deals. As the old adage goes “Politics is just show business for ugly people” and looking at the House of Commons on some afternoons it’s a view that’s hard to disagree with. There is a huge disconnect between “normal” people and those in Westminster and a lot of this can be blamed that on people aspiring to and becoming career politicians without having had any real experience of the outside world. This can produce a certain breed of socially maladjusted person that is so enraptured with the machinations of politics that they effectively stand for nothing apart from themselves. If politicians were to at least try and pretend to be human people might identify with them more and listen to what they have to say. If they were to actually answer questions rather than bleat out stock media trained responses they might get people to trust them more. If they dropped the phrase “Now let me be perfectly clear….” and actually were perfectly clear instead, then perhaps people would respond to them better. If they stopped distracting us with that weird new thing where they gesture with a fist with one of their thumbs clamped firmly down on top ( a move which is neither a thumbs up – too positive…. nor a fist – too aggressive )  then maybe we’d take them seriously. That’s why I hope that the above piece of graffiti is the work of Shadow Education minister Stephen Twigg, it would show us that Twigg is an irrational human being, a flawed human being, a human being with feelings…one of us.

Spotted by Dominic Simpson

Sadly I think this is just wishful thinking, that politicians have no interest in changing and in fact things might just get worse. Watching a BBC2 documentary on young Oxbridge Tories I think we’re in for trouble in the future. Just look at the kind of books this future leader of tomorrow likes to read! Be afraid, be very afraid.

tory

 

Sign, Golders Green

Posted on by Patrick in Graffiti, Local Government, North, Shit London Photo, Signs | 1 Comment

Sign, Golders Green

Forget parking here unless you live in the area and are either a fertile man or are in possession of a container full of sperm. These council rules get more ridiculous by the day.

Spotted by Steve Reed

 

Dick Seat, Gypsy Hill

Posted on by Patrick in Graffiti, Knobism, Shit London Photo, South, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Dick Seat, Gypsy Hill

A fine example of situationist knobism here. This well placed knob creates a situation where anybody wanting to use this bench whilst waiting for the train has to make the important decision of whether they feel comfortable sitting on a crudely drawn penis or not. Many people would not even think about it and recognise this for exactly what it is – a few squiggles of permanent marker pen. However there is another group entirely who, irrationally and mostly unconsciously, will regard this bench wang as somehow imbued with magical powers and fear that if they sit down it may suddenly spring to life and molest them. These are the same people who if they mistakenly read that old school favourite piece of graffiti “If you read this you are gay”, will actually believe that deep down on a molecular level they have begun a transformation into a homosexual person.

Spotted by Gordon Hodge