We’ve dealt with things scrawled in the dirt on the back of lorries before here so there’s not much new to say and with this being an Anchor lorry there was only ever one thing that was going to be written on it.
Spotted by Mary Prentice
So here we are, a week into the New Year. Many of you would’ve started the year under a fug of boozy regret and dreading the return to work. Others would have seen the start of 2013 as a chance to start afresh, to learn from last years mistakes and to head into the new year with a new and positive momentum. I know I have. The fact is I’m getting tired of writing this blog. It’s all so negative. I’m thinking of scrapping all this and restarting it under a new name “Nice London”. London is a nice place after all, especially after last year. Wait a sec…what does it say on that wall over there?
Spotted by Deke De Core
It’s pretty pathetic that some men use their cars as penis extensions, it’s also pretty pathetic that other people look at a mans car and automatically think “Wow, I bet that man has a tremendous wang.” I remember once sitting in the company of a bunch of alpha-male, city types who were just as fun as the images those words conjure. There was a hell of a lot of proverbial dick swinging taking place, comparing expensive (mostly ugly) watches, the capacity for blowing obscene amounts of money during drunken binges and, of course, their cars. The flaming eye of Sauron that constituted their conversation eventually settled on me and the question I dread was directed at me.
“So what car do you drive then?”
I dread this because I don’t own a car or. I could use the “well, there’s no point in owning a car in London” argument but it would be half hearted and a half truth. Cars scare me a bit (I got run over once) and the idea of me being in control of one scares me even more. I garbled some kind of response which was a mix of both of these weak arguments and then added unnecessarily “…but I sometimes ride a bike, it’s quicker, easier and not to mention cheaper”
This last point was met with special amusement from them all until I added “…but mainly I just ride one to compensate for my massive cock”
Spotted by David John Brock
Shit Londoner Steve Rees sent me this excellent photo saying….
“I still giggle when remembering this dryly witty bit of almost existential scrawl in biro on a fan cover in the male cubicle of the gents bogs in the garish gin palace that is The Duke Of Salisbury in St. Martin’s Lane.
It’s high up so the scrawler must have been tall.”
Manrose Manfeel almost sounds like it could be the name of a lost Dickens character.
In a rapidly changing world it’s comforting to know that some things that are pleasingly consistent and reliable. “Also in white” ranks high among the classics in the arena of writing with fingers on the backs of a filthy vehicles alongside “Clean me” and “I wish my wife was this dirty”. Sadly we may never know who the individuals were who came up with each of those slogans or when they first appeared. Perhaps Victorian Londoners were at this kind of thing, writing on the back of carriages sentiments like “I dare to dream that my wife’s petticoats were thus besmirched with corruption”…or something.
Spotted by Nicole Shapiro