We’ve all woken up at some point in our life with a knob drawn on our head after a night on the sauce. In pre-internet days these kind of incidents usually stayed amongst a small group of friends but with the advent of social media increasingly peoples shame is broadcast for the whole world to see. It’s must be even more embarrassing if you are major Hollywood star and this happens to you. Here we have evidence of Kevin Spacey out on a drunken rampage around Seven Sisters Road where he not only has a classic “cock n’ balls” emblazoned across his forehead but also seems to make the admission that his balls are bigger than his “peeny.” The usually eloquent Mr Spacey also throws all the rules of grammar out of the window in his admission, another sign that he is hog whimperlingly swigfaced.
Spotted by Ariel King
Wenlock and Mandeville were the two much loved mascots of the London 2012 Olympics. Who can forget their priceless antics during last years summer of sport? Well, almost everyone in fact. That might boil down to an instinctive mistrust of cyclops that people have. Examples include that Cyclops off thingy….Jason and the Argonauts or Sinbad , Long John Silver (does that count?) and ….errr…Garbrielle ( I’m clutching at straws here ).
It seems that our natural mistrust may have good reason judging by the state of Wenlock these days. Maybe it’s because he’s had nothing to do since the Olympics, maybe he’s hit the bottle or is on some kind of cyclops drug we know nothing about, either way he has obviously become the kind of degenerate that has no place making special appearances in our schools or any massive international sporting events.
For shame Wenlock, how the mighty tumble.
Spotted by Andrew Huxter
This piece of knobism painstakingly rendered in the window display of Burtons Tottenham Court Road recalls Rodin’s “The Thinker” as the subject stares into his own ejaculate and considers the meaning of existence.
Spotted by Chris Maris
A fine example of situationist knobism here. This well placed knob creates a situation where anybody wanting to use this bench whilst waiting for the train has to make the important decision of whether they feel comfortable sitting on a crudely drawn penis or not. Many people would not even think about it and recognise this for exactly what it is – a few squiggles of permanent marker pen. However there is another group entirely who, irrationally and mostly unconsciously, will regard this bench wang as somehow imbued with magical powers and fear that if they sit down it may suddenly spring to life and molest them. These are the same people who if they mistakenly read that old school favourite piece of graffiti “If you read this you are gay”, will actually believe that deep down on a molecular level they have begun a transformation into a homosexual person.
Spotted by Gordon Hodge
It’s Pancake Day today! Huzzah! There will be tossing all over the city tonight so to celebrate here’s yet another picture of something filthy written in filth on the back of a van. This time instead of following the traditional “I wish my wife was this dirty…”, “Clean Me” or “Also comes in white” route the finger scribbler has opted to use the back of the van like some Craigslist on four wheels and make a public plea for some manual assistance. They leave no contact information so it can only be assumed that the owner of the van wrote this or ( and I accept that this is a less likely explanation ) the van itself has gained consciousness à la some dirty minded Herbie the Love Bug.
Spotted by James Davies