Transport

Vision of the Future, Clapham

Posted on by Patrick in Bad Art, Shit London Photo, South, Transport | Leave a comment

Vision of the Future, Clapham

Here is a stunning vision of the future on display at Clapham Junction. I think we can all agree this is fairly breathtaking. There’s a glass roof, a couple of big grey things and…not much else. Certainly no seats, as one passer by has decided to point out.

I’m a fan of these mock ups and especially the people they photoshop in. Next time you pass one of these outside a building site have a closer look at the people photoshopped into the architects vision, you might find something unusual. I was at an airport in Morrocco once and was looking at one of these for a new terminal they were building. A few of the figures looked familiar, very familiar. On closer inspection I saw that the grey haired man looking around the duty free shop was Al Pacino. Will Smith and family were sailing through passport control. Bruce Springsteen was waiting for a cab outside whilst Tom Hanks (as Forrest Gump) sat on a nearby bench. Whoever had composited the picture had taken paparazzi photos of Hollywood stars and peppered them all over the airport, perhaps to add a touch of glamour. It was excellent.

Fair Point?, Surrey Quays

Posted on by Patrick in East, Shit London Photo, Signs, Transport | Leave a comment

Fair Point?, Surrey  Quays

Shit Londoner Lara Roussel spotted this advert at Surrey Quays shopping centre and reasonably says…

“Evidently TFL found the cash to pay a Soho creative agency to come up with a poster so immaturely sarcastic I imagined punching Boris in the face every time I walk past it. Fuck off. I’m not a ticket inspector, therefore I doubt he looks like me at all.

All it took was the addition of everyone’s favourite word to cheer it up. Now I break into a c*nty grin each time I walk past it. Because, as the post tells me, I am one.”

I’m no fan of ticket inspectors, I know they have a job to do but sometimes they carry out their duties with such fervent zeal that they lose all sense of basic human empathy. I once saw a middle aged woman with a ton of shopping being thrown off a bus because she had lost her ticket. This was despite the bus driver’s and several passenger’s assurances to the inspector that she had bought a ticket just a couple of stops before. This ticket inspector, a right lady-bastard, then refused the poor, highly embarrassed woman a chance to buy another ticket and insisted, by yelling like a banshee,that she leave the bus or she’d call the police…which was nice of her. In an “I’m Spartacus” moment, a few other passengers left the bus in protest and the bus driver even turned off the engine to try and argue the case some more. The whole thing went on for about 10 minutes. The inspector wouldn’t budge and eventually the bus left, carrying some angry passengers and leaving the woman with the shopping in tears on the pavement.

I also had a incredibly surreal run in with a ticket inspector once that you can read about HERE

Mr Right, Crystal Palace

Posted on by Patrick in East, People, Shit London Photo, South, The Tube, Transport | 1 Comment

Mr Right, Crystal Palace

I always thought that concept of Mr or Mrs Right was quite esoteric, different from one person to the next, but apparently I was wrong. Ladies (or indeed Men) of London, Mr Right has been found! He is an actual person and he’s riding the Overground just looking for love. Okay so he might not cut the dashing figure that you quite had in mind, his paint smeared Reebok hoody pulled down over his face may not immediately broadcast that he’s a “keeper” but the sign says what the sign says and we should respect that.

Spotted by David Chant

Direct, Peckham Rye

Posted on by Patrick in Graffiti, Shit London Photo, South, Transport | Leave a comment

Direct, Peckham

Three words that can strike fear into even the most seasoned user of public transport “Rail Replacement Service”. It’s all the fun of a rail service but at half the speed, in a tenth of the space, with a journey that takes twice as long and all for the same price.

Woop-de-fucking-doo.

Spotted by Sam Hart

Standard, Dartford Crossing

Posted on by Patrick in East, Graffiti, Shit London Photo, Transport | 2 Comments

Standard, Dartford Crossing

We’ve dealt with things scrawled in the dirt on the back of lorries before here so there’s not much new to say and with this being an Anchor lorry there was only ever one thing that was going to be written on it.

Spotted by Mary Prentice