Polling Booth, Haringey

Oh London what did you do?

I turn my back for a few days and this happens. Honestly, that’s the last time I leave you by yourself again, you’ve shown you can’t be trusted. No I don’t care what you’re friends are allowed to do.

Maybe it’s not all your fault. Maybe some voters were put off by the fact their polling stations looked portaloos or because they were mistakenly signposted as “Poliing Stations”. Who knows?

Spotted by Ruth Barnett @ruthbarnett

Toilet Humour, Television Centre

The BBC has a history of producing great comedy such as Fawlty Towers, The Day Today and The Office but as well as those it’s also had it’s share of stinkers like My Hero, the inexplicably popular Two Packets of Lager and a Pint of Crisps and that thing with Amanda Holden in it playing a ringmaster at a circus ( I cringed so hard upon seeing the trailer for that show that doctors had to put me into a medically induced coma for a month just to unseize my muscles ). I like the fact that here in their audience loos they’ve made the time and effort to recall the famous Mastermind catchphrase to comedic effect on a sign. Presumably Granada television have done the same thing in their studio toilets commemorating Blockbusters host Bob Holness with a plaque reading “I’ll have a pee please Bob”

Spotted by Justin Phillips whilst at a Jools Holland recording.

Surprise!, Plaistow

Charity shops are magical places. You literally have no idea what treasure you may find after stepping through their doors. It might be a copy of Jack Frost on VHS or even somebody’s old dildo!

One of the best jobs I ever had was working in charity shop when I was doing my A-levels. Part of the deal was that we got to have first claim on anything that was donated. For a nominal fee, somewhere between a pound or nothing, we were free to take home pretty much anything we wanted. Bin bags of donations would arrive and one of us would be given the task of going out the back and sorting through them all. I found some incredible stuff in my time there, rare vinyl, some choice books, a few items of designer clothing. There was always the risk however that you could find something unpleasant too. Soiled underwear was the nightmare scenario, a scenario that unfolded with depressing regularity. I learnt not to judge people by appearance alone after falling foul to a succession of seemingly well to do, balanced individuals pulling up in expensive cars, chatting about how they’d had a huge clear out and wanted their discarded bric a brac to go to good use, only to find they’ve thoughtfully donated a couple of pairs a beskidded Y-fronts into the bargain. They were the main hazard but I discovered a new one the day I found a mysterious black and gold cylinder that looked like a breath freshener. Trying to get it to work I gave it a bash. Instantly it emitted an eardrum tearing screech and sprayed some sort of mist into my face. I fell back into a pile of clothes, my eyes suddenly burning. I was blind and couldn’t see. Someone had kindly donated a rape alarm complete with a single usage of Mace. My colleague at the time found me thrashing around on the floor, choking, crying and thoroughly disorientated. I managed to gasp “Mace! Rape!” but she just laughed and told me that it was my turn on the till.

Spotted by Jennifer Wilson

Oh No, Shepherds Bush

You didn’t want to have to use the cubicle but you had no choice. You sit down and then you see this. Oh great. Is this person telling the truth or are they just playing mind games with you? Maybe they did actually wank on the lock. People do stranger things. I once saw a documentary where a man proudly boasted of having opportunistic sex with a helicopter….and not just any helicopter either. He had sex with Airwolf, the eponymous star of the 80′s TV show about a super, crime fighting helicopter. So it’s entirely possible there’s someone with a lock fetish out there.

Spotted by Sandip Mahal

Parent Threat, Crouch End

This coffee shop in Crouch End understands how to play on parents fears. I’d be interested to see whether they’d follow through with their promise though. With that in mind, does anyone have a child ( it could even be your own ) that we could leave unattended here to see if the shop makes good with their threat? We could watch from across the road…like a stakeout. If anyone says yes I’ll provide the coffee and doughnuts.

Spotted by Tania Steventon

Safety Last, Oxford Street

Spotted by Kerri Francis

I’m going for the library because I can see myself becoming a local “character” one day who’ll need all the shelter and warmth he can get during the winter months.

Tom wrote about his corner of Wandsworth : “This is the area where they gentrify the zebra crossings before you reach the opposite curb so there won’t be much urban decay to photo. This school that opens here in Bankerland next September used to be the library at the end of my street. It had been boarded up for 18 months and as soon as they put up the school posters the Graffiti appeared. It appeared on a weekend and was whited out as soon as Monday came round. Before you ask, no it wasn’t me. I wouldn’t shit in my own backyard. Glad I caught it on camera though.”

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Green Machine, Whitechapel

Shit Londoner Simon Gretton sent in this photo saying “Here’s a nice Yoda bong I saw in Whitechapel the other day, not entirely sure if it’s made by Kenner.. maybe George was smoking one of these when he thought it’d be a good idea to make the phantom menace”

What is it about stoners and their taste in crappy drug paraphernalia? And when did the connection between aliens and weed first get made. I still see those “Take me to your dealer” posters for sale all over the place. They were lame when I was a teenager and the passage of time hasn’t made them any cooler.

Toilet Debate, Brixton

I like the idea of “getting used to” life as if there were some other perspective that we viewed existence through before life happened. I wonder who wrote this. Perhaps this is the work of some multi-dimensional being with a predilection for late 80′s early 90′s skateboarding slang.

Spotted by Kate Bestic

Barbers, East India Dock Rd

Imagine what the old look was like. And that sign looks like it has seen action that no A-frame sign should ever have to see in it’s lifetime. Has it been dragged under a lorry or perhaps set upon by a disgruntled customer with a hammer?

Spotted by Stephen Hunwick