Reassuring, Seven Sisters

This doesn’t exactly fill you with confidence does it?

This is precisely the mantra that would get trotted out again and again whenever I was taken for a haircut as a kid. I’ve never liked getting haircuts, hence why I spent many years resembling a man balancing a sheepdog on his head, walking into things and cricking my neck from all the tic-like fringe tossing I had to do in order to see. This whole “It’ll grow back” thing is all down to one of the great unspoken truths about the hairdressing industry, namely – most of the time the hairdresser already has a haircut in mind for you regardless of what you tell them you want. It’s a done deal, a fixed decision. I’ve lost count of the amount of times that I’ve asked a hairdresser for just a little trim only to leave half an hour later with a hairstyle last in fashion when the Bayeaux Tapestry was sewn. The worst thing of all is that without fail, every single bloody time, I will look into the mirror at my newly hacked barnet, smile and say “It’s great thanks. Just how I wanted it” before handing over my money like the pathetic, stupid haircut wearing coward that I am.

I suspect that all hairdressers have a yearly get together where they have a big old laugh about all the terrible haircuts they’ve given and all the compliments and tips they’ve received afterwards from their devastated clients.

Spotted by Paul Raven