That’s it ladies and gentlemen, the phone lines are now closed, all votes have been counted and verified, please do not call as you might still be charged…etc, etc, etc.
The Shit London Awards 2011 have concluded and below are all the winners in each category. Frankly most of the entries were a bunch of crap but seeing as that was what we were looking for in the first place then we’ve achieved what we set out to do.
The categories are…
UGLIEST BUILDING IN LONDON
BEST/WORST SHOP NAME
MOST DEPRESSING VIEW FROM WORK
BEST PICTURE
The results may be controversial, divisive even. You may disagree with some of them and think to yourself “I know a much uglier building then that” or “My view from work is infinitely more depressing than any of these” and you might be right, but did you send in a photo? You didn’t? Well you only have yourself to blame. If you’re looking for sympathy then you won’t find it here, nor elsewhere on the internet for that matter. The best you can do is send in a picture of what you think should’ve won and I might post it on the site or indeed wait until next year and try again in the Shit London Awards 2012. If the Mayans have it right the world ends next year anyway so you may as well try and win something before you die…even if it is just a mug.
And so to the winners…
UGLIEST BUILDING IN LONDON
1st Place – Louis Thompson
The Colliers Wood Tower, a grim black edifice that looms over this corner of London like a brutalist twist on Tolkien. Rumours that this actually sucks in light and feeds off the joy and vigour of local residents are unsubstantiated.
2nd Place – Adams Proops
Great Eastern Street Car Park – notable for being the only car park in London to actually be improved by the piss in the stairwells.
3rd Place – Bill Pearson
The London College of Business and Computer Studies – and we wonder at the state of our economy.
Runner Up – Luke Wood
Tooting Mansions – stretching the definition of “mansion” to it’s farthest limits.
Best/Worst Shop Name
1st Place – Dominic Conrad
Abra Kebabra – sublime bit of punmanship from this Kebab House cleverly playing on the “now you see it, now you don’t” phenomena that happens in reverse on many a pavement across the city on a Friday night.
2nd Place – Liv Murton
The Deptford Cod Father’s – there are many Cod Fathers across the city but this is the best. Rather confusingly there is also a “Codfella’s” which if you wanted to be picky (and I do) makes no sense.
3rd Place – Sandrine Tom
Naxos Fashion Schoolwear – Not the funniest of names granted, but since when has school wear ever been fashionable and more to the point who would take their children into a place like this??
Runner Up – Nadi Jahangiri
Via-Agra – baked potatoes always make me think of erectile dysfunction
MOST DEPRESSING VIEW FROM WORK
1st Place – Nadi Jahangiri
I can only assume that Nadi had been very bad in a former life to warrant a work view like this. Let’s hope he get’s enough vitamin D to stave off the rickets.
2nd Place – Mat Aarons
I’m not sure what to think of Mat’s view. It’s the equivalent to the captain of a ship having a framed picture of the Titanic on the bridge.
3rd Place – Natalie Lister
The Hammersmith Flyover and a car park. Great. So Natalie can either watch cars moving or indeed not moving. Huzzah.
Runner Up – Iain Millar
Poor Iain, having to look at that building everyday and envy the people inside who can’t see it.
BEST PICTURE
1st Place – Chris Barrett
Great piece of opportunistic graffiti playing on the “stranger danger” fears that plague childhood today. When I was a kid this exact scene happened almost every week to me at the supermarket and it never done me no harm.
2nd Place – Donal O’Dowd
Don’s picture proves that even under the mayor’s dutiful, latin spouting, lady carousing, extortionate fare rising gaze no bike in London is safe.
3rd Place – Rowan Williams
TFL leading the way in preserving and promoting London’s cultural identity ahead of the olympic games. Gawd bless ‘em.
Runner Up – Sara Carson
A charmingly prosaic way of selling cream teas.
The 5th of December will see Shit London holding a pretty ropey awards ceremony of sorts of at a suitably down at heel London pub. The photo rights for the night are now on sale to the highest bidder, starting price £1.50.
Seen something better? Something funnier? Attach your photo with your name and where you took the shot and send it to [email protected].
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Hilarious! What’s the deadline for entries?
Disorganised as we are at Shit London HQ we have decided on a date around mid to late November
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Morden Civic Center in Morden (surprisingly, btw it’s the south end of the northern line). It’s featured in this song by local band Good Shoes. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LoU6xszikNQ (it’s the building with the to let sign across it).
Pic: http://www.flickr.com/photos/albedo/3604288340/
Is this photo yours? If so e-mail it to [email protected] to enter. That building is an absolute rotter.
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Can I buy a mug somewhere? I just want one.
Sadly not at this time. Our ceramics man had an accident with his kiln. He’s going to be out of action for a couple of years at least. Other Shit London merchandising may be available in time though. Just looking around the house to see what I can adapt.
Colliers Wood tower – I cycled past it the other day and my hi-vis jacket noticeably dimmed as I went past. Well deserved.
x
Colliers Wood Tower is a deserved winner – despite beating the miserable shit box I took a picture of into second place.
It is like a joy magnet, sapping the will to live from all around it – a cocking monstrosity.
For what it’s worth… “Abrakebabra” is a major fast food chain in Ireland…
There’s a chain of kebab shops?!?! I bet they’re tasty.
Sadly not. We got one purely to take the bag home. Nasty.
And mighty tasty their food is too!!
The picture of Colliers Wood Tower actually flatters it. From the other side there is a half demolished multi-storey car park hanging off it.
I saw that once. Like a shit Guggenheim.
I agree, that photo almost makes it look like a seaside resort (there is actually a Holiday Inn almost facing it!!!)
That building in Colliers Wood used to have the prosaic name ‘Brown & Root’ building. I can confirm that it sucks light and souls that pass too close. It’s monstrousness, and the car park spiral of eternal woe next to it are actually some of the ugliest and inappropriately placed architecture I have seen anywhere in the world.
It is a marvel, but not one to be saved. I hear it is to be demolished?
Happy to see my friend Nadi Jahangiri mentioned. Unfortunately you’ve given him a sex change…
Oh bollocks. I have a female friend called Nadi and just made the assumption. Will restore his manhood forthwith
Thanks ladies…
i am both ashamed and flattered that my cream tea sign has graced your website. sadly it has now been painted over due to refurbishment.
Good grief … That was an award winning piece of Bitish heritage you’ve destroyed!
Good grief … That was an award winning piece of British heritage you’ve destroyed!
not me phil, not me.
i have however been commissioned to produce a new mural on another, larger outside wall at the same place, dunno if i dare scale the same dizzy heights again…..
I vote this the ‘best list’ for 2011! You have us in tears in the office guys, we will definitely be sharing this with our fans!
Although Abrakebabra is actually a brilliant name. Come on.
At least the redeeming features of London far outweigh its appalling ones, unlike the town where I live .
I’d have to contest that statement, i’m afraid. Having been resident in the heart (if i could call it that) of this dump throughout the course of the last decade, i can quite confidently say that anywhere south (and lately many places north) of the thames river leave me with the same quiet sense of miserable desperation gnawing away at the rotten apple core of my soul.
Not helped in any way by my first cousin’s declaration that his own manor up birmingham way makes canning town look like the Ritz.
Brilliant! I think it a pity that along with Cod Father’s and Cod Fella’s, the trilogy should have been completed with ‘Cod Piece’ (or ‘Cod Peace’, given by the fact that by then one would hope the cod was finally at rest).
perhaps ‘cod peas’?
“codpiss” – a nappy?
Lovin’ the site Patrick – well done indeed.
Q: will there be a 2nd book published sometime?
Thank you! I certainly hope there will, there are enough images in the archive for a series
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This website is a work of sheer genius !!
I am now expecting a load of whingeing comments about the ‘metropolitan bias’ of the meeja…
To counteract this, I am almost moved to start a website called “Sh!t Bristol”, but I think the publishers of ‘Crap Towns’ may have beaten me to it…
Whatever else Bristol has / hasn’t got, it could certainly compete with London on the ‘broken glass / non-biodegradable litter’ front…
Surely in keeping with the spirit of the category, The Codfather should be second plaice?
I particularly like the fact that the ‘cod father’s’ is next door to ‘the egg shop’
YES to the winner of ugliest building! my friends and i call this bulding Death Towers and think the ‘architect’ who designed this should be absolutely ashamed!
It’s begun to grow on me funnily enough.
Next to the Cod Father is the Egg Shop. A shop selling… erm.. eggs I suppose?
I believe the Egg Shop is an unlicensed fertility clinic actually.
Elephant & Castle’s offerings were not featured in this list… that is something I can’t believe:
http://g.co/maps/teyvd
http://g.co/maps/qt7y7
http://g.co/maps/s63rr
http://g.co/maps/ymb3d
These buildings are impressively ugly.
I wish you had a category for this:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/janepbr/3493015281/
but it’s not there any more… I miss it terribly
Bloody brilliant.
This site needs more advertising. But it makes you realise just how $hit London can be.
Keep it rolling.
there used to be a hairdressers on dalston kingland called ‘It’ll ..grow back’ . It didnt stay open long…unsurprisingly and have always regretted not photographing it when i first saw it………same goes for ‘OK Fashion’ in Brixton
Ah, amazing!